How Not to be a Fair-Weather Friend

Read it!:  I Samuel 19 &20

Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it for you.”

(Chapter 20, vs 4)


Think it through:

Now here’s a story of a truly great friendship (perhaps the greatest friendship recorded in the Bible—or anywhere!), that between Jonathan and David.  These two friends loved each other greatly.  Can you picture them meeting one another, discovering their nearly instant rapport?  I can imagine them hanging out, sharing confidences with one another, and enjoying the ringing sound of their combined laughter.

Often friendships are easy to strike up, but then they fail to stand the test of time—or the trials of life.  When hard times fell on David, this friendship was clearly stronger than ever.  Jonathan went against his father’s commands in order to support David, saying, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it for you.”

Reading this chapter made me wonder, have I ever been a fair-weather friend?  I’m loyal to my friends and I do try to be there for them in times of need… but I don’t always have a happy heart about it.

My Grandma Staley used to tell me all about the close friendships she shared with her neighbors and fellow church members.  Those women were always together, always supporting each other, helping to raise one another’s children. Honestly, that sounds a little overwhelming to me…but it also sounds pretty great. I’ll admit that I become frustrated with the “life getting in the way” aspect of today’s friendships.

I sometimes wait several weeks for my friends to find openings for playdates or girls’ nights out in their busy schedules.  I can wait days (or weeks) for answers to emails.  Many seem to prefer quick texts to phone calls.  I know this is just the world we’re living in.  People are busy—and I know that most people aren’t as technology-adverse as I am!  But when a friend doesn’t have time for me, my heart can get a little jaded.  Then when she seeks me out in her time of need, I find myself feeling frustrated.

Maybe I am a fair-weather friend!  God made us to love each other as He loves us—so I need to take a closer look at David and Jonathan.


Live it like you mean it:

Do you ever feel like a fair-weather friend?  See if you can think of one friend with whom you haven’t spoken in a while—who’s springing to mind?  Reach out to that friend today.  Or think of a friend in need, someone who could use a hand-written note or a batch of homemade cookies, and get busy!  Make a note on your to-do list, or if today isn’t the day for it, write it down on a future planner page.

As for me, I’m going to double down in prayer for a friend who’s going through a hard time with a health issue.  She hasn’t been in great touch with me lately, but I know that we love each other as sisters in Christ.  She probably wouldn’t want cookies or even another homemade card, but I know she’d appreciate the prayer.  I’m writing her name at the top of my planner pages every day this week in order to help keep her on my heart.


Lift it up:

Jesus, please help me to seek You as my ultimate friend and comfort.  And bless me with a generous, overflowing heart toward my busy friends.  Help me to say, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it for you.”  I ask this in Your name.  Amen


Tell Me About It:

How do you keep your friendships alive—and your heart happy about them?

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2 thoughts on “How Not to be a Fair-Weather Friend”

  1. This was written for me today! Thanks for reminding me to be a good friend, even when it’s inconvenient. How easy it is to be selfish with our time and prayers!

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